Hindsight is 20/20, let's see where I'm at.
january
-Rang in the new year with Kevin and Michelle.
-Delia's was sucking out my soul.
-I was learning the ropes at my bby. Awhhh.
february
-How is it that every year I never remember February?
-I spent a lot of time at the hairpartment.
-I didn't drink at all.
-But man, I smoked a lot of cigarettes.
march
-I visited Arizona.
-I met Jim for the first time (yeah Tennessee!)
-Quit Delia's because I wanted to stab my manager.
-And still rocking the hairpartment.
-And still not drinking.
april
-I turned 20, and yet again didn't celebrate.
-I got promoted to Customer Assistant.
-I kind of had an emotional breakdown/existential nightmare.
may
-I broke up with Kevin after said breakdown.
-My Honda got put up for sale.
-My red fucking truck entered my life.
-I committed to moving to Arizona.
june
-I moved to Ferndale from West Bloomfield.
-I went to Cedar Point and rode a roller coaster for the first time ever.
-I started drinking again. Heavily.
-Very, very heavily.
july
-Still drinking heavily.
-Started panicking.
-Visited Chicago for oneeee last time.
-Almost had a baby.
-Saw a Tiger's game with Tiffany in the new stadium. We won!
-Drove to Arizona.
august
-Started working the day after I moved here (bad idea).
-Unpacked my life, realized I left a lot of stuff at home.
-I wanted to punch my mom in the face.
-I was too busy to miss life.
-But I wanted friends.
september
-Panic attack!
-Flew home!
-Flew back!
-Dropped out of school!
october
-I finally felt like I had friends.
-Drank six days a week.
-Okay, seven.
-Moved back to Customer Assistant.
november
-Hated Best Buy with a burning fucking passion.
-Met even more people that made me love life.
-But still, started missing Michigan a lot.
-Got a new tattoo.
december
-Moved back to Home Theatre.
-Got promoted to Home Theatre senior.
-Started working out.
-Started to quit smoking.
This would be week number three of hitting overtime. Next week will be no different. With the eight hours I get paid on Christmas, I'll hit 54 hours. Hah.
It's really weird to look at a year summated in such a way. It makes me realize how time can feel like it passes so, so fast. I've been here for almost five months! Oh my god! Five fucking months!
Sal texted me and said he believes in New Years stigma, and I'm gonna have to agree. But this new years should be really awesome. I'm shooting for my other foot tattoo in January, sky diving in March, and Vegas in April. Over the summer, too, I wanna go to Philly to see Tiffany, take a train to Detroit, and then shoot over to Chicago before flying home. East coast tour, go! I hope my mom got me a Nintendo DS for Christmas. I wanna play Brain Age.
I'm gonna go drink my hot chocolate. Love life, bye.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
it's called a fire sale because everything must go.
I'm still seeing a lot of movies. Hitman was really good. Die Hard was good. No Country for Old Men was really good.
I need to start working out. I'm getting fat. I'm not married, so I have no reason to get fat and saggy yet. My outside demeanor is getting more and more apathetic, but inside I'm frustrated and upset. Come January I'm looking for a new job--recently I realized that my management doesn't particularly care about their employees, or effective ways to train and motivate them. I don't want to be with a company like that anymore. It's just not effective.
I nap on the couch a lot.
I went to Mexico with AJ and 12 of his friends two weeks ago. It was amazing. Sitting on the beach in November, riding a banana boat, running pantsless into the ocean.. drinking Dos Equis at a club on the beach; I needed a vacation.
Black Friday was insanity, I worked a long day.
There's this guy that I've been hanging out with who's pretty cool. He's 27, which is odd. But he's normal. He's withdrawn without being socially retarded. He's reserved about himself and his personal issues but he likes to have a good time. He's got all the right kind of walls. I don't even know what I want from him, but I want to get to know him and that's good enough for me.
I'm down to half a pack a day.
It's starting to get colder out here, like only 75 during the day and about 50-60 at night. That's cold to me now. I'm such a little bitch. I can still wear flip flops, though, so fuck all. Hoodies are awesome, I'll never need a coat, who cares.
I just miss regularity and familiarity.
Represent.
I need to start working out. I'm getting fat. I'm not married, so I have no reason to get fat and saggy yet. My outside demeanor is getting more and more apathetic, but inside I'm frustrated and upset. Come January I'm looking for a new job--recently I realized that my management doesn't particularly care about their employees, or effective ways to train and motivate them. I don't want to be with a company like that anymore. It's just not effective.
I nap on the couch a lot.
I went to Mexico with AJ and 12 of his friends two weeks ago. It was amazing. Sitting on the beach in November, riding a banana boat, running pantsless into the ocean.. drinking Dos Equis at a club on the beach; I needed a vacation.
Black Friday was insanity, I worked a long day.
There's this guy that I've been hanging out with who's pretty cool. He's 27, which is odd. But he's normal. He's withdrawn without being socially retarded. He's reserved about himself and his personal issues but he likes to have a good time. He's got all the right kind of walls. I don't even know what I want from him, but I want to get to know him and that's good enough for me.
I'm down to half a pack a day.
It's starting to get colder out here, like only 75 during the day and about 50-60 at night. That's cold to me now. I'm such a little bitch. I can still wear flip flops, though, so fuck all. Hoodies are awesome, I'll never need a coat, who cares.
I just miss regularity and familiarity.
Represent.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
fort knox is for tourists!
Holy shit, it's November. This weather is so deceptive because it pretty much never changes... it's so surreal. I've officially given Arizona my stamp of approval. It's getting better and better. On the downside, as I enjoy life here more I want to bring parts of my other life here with me like crazy. Jeff, Rosie, Danielle.. etc. Come here right now.
AJ and his friends and I are going to Mexico on Saturday... for three days. I can't wait for three days off, on the beach, with cheap booze. I so need it. I'm also trying to transfer to the warehouse at Best Buy, my sales floor management is really pissing me off.
I wish I had more to talk about but I keep forgetting all the things I want to say. I'm trying really hard to keep my life in order and I'm beginning to function better as time goes on.
OH BUT MY ROOMMATE SHAMPOOED THE CARPET HOLY LORD I AM SO HAPPY ABOUT THAT.
I hope everyone in the mitten is doin' okay.
AJ and his friends and I are going to Mexico on Saturday... for three days. I can't wait for three days off, on the beach, with cheap booze. I so need it. I'm also trying to transfer to the warehouse at Best Buy, my sales floor management is really pissing me off.
I wish I had more to talk about but I keep forgetting all the things I want to say. I'm trying really hard to keep my life in order and I'm beginning to function better as time goes on.
OH BUT MY ROOMMATE SHAMPOOED THE CARPET HOLY LORD I AM SO HAPPY ABOUT THAT.
I hope everyone in the mitten is doin' okay.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
malcolm barrett, the inspiration!
On 2007:
-I bought a new car. It was pretty ugly. I'm working on that.
-I drove 2,000 miles across the country.
-California and back in a day! Yeah!
-I almost had a baby! That's weird.
-I got shitfaced a lot. It was pretty fun, considering.
-Smoking cigarettes has become even more awesome.
-Told summer of 2006 to eat my dust. Even though it was awesome.
-Already flew home to the mitten once! Panic attack!
On Smoking:
-Smoking indoors rules.
-Arizona hates smokers.
-Seriously, who the fuck thought it was a good idea to get rid of smoking in bars, bowling alleys, and venues?
-You can buy cheap cigarettes on Indian reservations.
On Movies:
-I've seen a lot of movies since I've moved out here.
-I've bought a lot of movies since I've moved out here.
-I've seen Superbad 3 times in theatres.
On Breakfast:
-I frequent an ihop in Mesa with David and AJ. The waitresses are wrinkly.
-I order the Split Decision every single time.
-French toast rules.
-With powdered sugar.
Bad Ideas:
-Kick puppies!
-Feel sorry for yourself!
-Shotgun beers while wearing silk!
-Throw couches on roofs!
On The Mountain Standard Time Zone:
-au contraire, Malcolm. MST is bitchin'.
-Also, Arizona says "fuck you!" to daylight savings time. We don't observe it, bitches! We have enough sunlight as it is!
On Best Buy:
-My supervisor shaved his hair into a mullet at the first store meeting.
-I totally want to nail my supervisor, and we discuss it at length. We're gonna go on dates once I get promoted to supervisor. The fact that we discuss it does not weird me out.
-I love my BBY because the supervisors and managers actually give a shit about their jobs.
-I get hours based on merit, not on kiss-ass-ery.
-I sold $3150 in installations the other day. It was fucking awesome.
-My GM and I switched name tags for an entire day once. He said they printed his name wrong--it was "Jerry", not "Jenna". I said they forgot the "a" on my nametag--it's "Paula", not "Paul".
On Local Animals:
-I have yet to see a gecko, or a scorpion, or a snake. Lots of cacti. No deadly reptiles.
On Books:
-I've been rereading Gabriel Garcia Marquez's work a lot lately.
-I want Michelle to give me back my copy of Microserfs. Immediately.
-I recently read The Alphabet of Manliness by Maddox. Best. Book. Ever.
-Read The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood. It's great.
-Nothing soul-punching (in the words of m-bear) lately. Recommend something!
Good Ideas:
-Buy Ramen in bulk!
-Live with men, not ladies!
-Charge your phone every night!
-Nap on sofas!
-Always use the toilet, and not the floor!
On Politics:
-...no, I'm not gonna touch that.
On Boys (not boiz):
-I've met a couple out here. One of them tried to make one of his harem. I politely declined.
-I find myself getting tangled up in the brains of boys and trying to make them befuddle themselves. I am also at the same time, trying to stop that. Don't let me do that anymore!
-I enjoy living with boys. They are messier, but less fuss overall.
-Really, the ones out here are just cute.
-Officially I have received flowers a total of three times now in my life. This should continue. It makes me feel really nice.
-I still have not yet been on a date before entering into a relationship with someone. This is stupid, as I have lots of nice clothing and understand how to use utensils.
-Let's date!
-There is nothing I hate more than picking up a boy's dirty socks.
On Me:
-I think I got fatter when I got depressed. Help me buy a bike!
-I have an appointment to get the mitten tattooed on my left foot.
-I make my bed every day. It's from Ikea.
-I love shoes... still. Someone make me stop buying shoes.
-Write me letters: 2181 E Sanos Drive, Tempe, AZ, 85281. I will so respond.
-I bought a new car. It was pretty ugly. I'm working on that.
-I drove 2,000 miles across the country.
-California and back in a day! Yeah!
-I almost had a baby! That's weird.
-I got shitfaced a lot. It was pretty fun, considering.
-Smoking cigarettes has become even more awesome.
-Told summer of 2006 to eat my dust. Even though it was awesome.
-Already flew home to the mitten once! Panic attack!
On Smoking:
-Smoking indoors rules.
-Arizona hates smokers.
-Seriously, who the fuck thought it was a good idea to get rid of smoking in bars, bowling alleys, and venues?
-You can buy cheap cigarettes on Indian reservations.
On Movies:
-I've seen a lot of movies since I've moved out here.
-I've bought a lot of movies since I've moved out here.
-I've seen Superbad 3 times in theatres.
On Breakfast:
-I frequent an ihop in Mesa with David and AJ. The waitresses are wrinkly.
-I order the Split Decision every single time.
-French toast rules.
-With powdered sugar.
Bad Ideas:
-Kick puppies!
-Feel sorry for yourself!
-Shotgun beers while wearing silk!
-Throw couches on roofs!
On The Mountain Standard Time Zone:
-au contraire, Malcolm. MST is bitchin'.
-Also, Arizona says "fuck you!" to daylight savings time. We don't observe it, bitches! We have enough sunlight as it is!
On Best Buy:
-My supervisor shaved his hair into a mullet at the first store meeting.
-I totally want to nail my supervisor, and we discuss it at length. We're gonna go on dates once I get promoted to supervisor. The fact that we discuss it does not weird me out.
-I love my BBY because the supervisors and managers actually give a shit about their jobs.
-I get hours based on merit, not on kiss-ass-ery.
-I sold $3150 in installations the other day. It was fucking awesome.
-My GM and I switched name tags for an entire day once. He said they printed his name wrong--it was "Jerry", not "Jenna". I said they forgot the "a" on my nametag--it's "Paula", not "Paul".
On Local Animals:
-I have yet to see a gecko, or a scorpion, or a snake. Lots of cacti. No deadly reptiles.
On Books:
-I've been rereading Gabriel Garcia Marquez's work a lot lately.
-I want Michelle to give me back my copy of Microserfs. Immediately.
-I recently read The Alphabet of Manliness by Maddox. Best. Book. Ever.
-Read The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood. It's great.
-Nothing soul-punching (in the words of m-bear) lately. Recommend something!
Good Ideas:
-Buy Ramen in bulk!
-Live with men, not ladies!
-Charge your phone every night!
-Nap on sofas!
-Always use the toilet, and not the floor!
On Politics:
-...no, I'm not gonna touch that.
On Boys (not boiz):
-I've met a couple out here. One of them tried to make one of his harem. I politely declined.
-I find myself getting tangled up in the brains of boys and trying to make them befuddle themselves. I am also at the same time, trying to stop that. Don't let me do that anymore!
-I enjoy living with boys. They are messier, but less fuss overall.
-Really, the ones out here are just cute.
-Officially I have received flowers a total of three times now in my life. This should continue. It makes me feel really nice.
-I still have not yet been on a date before entering into a relationship with someone. This is stupid, as I have lots of nice clothing and understand how to use utensils.
-Let's date!
-There is nothing I hate more than picking up a boy's dirty socks.
On Me:
-I think I got fatter when I got depressed. Help me buy a bike!
-I have an appointment to get the mitten tattooed on my left foot.
-I make my bed every day. It's from Ikea.
-I love shoes... still. Someone make me stop buying shoes.
-Write me letters: 2181 E Sanos Drive, Tempe, AZ, 85281. I will so respond.
Friday, September 28, 2007
well i'm really glad i'm a nice person.
And I'm really glad I cover shifts whenever possible for people and they won't do the same for me.
I have like 9,345 things to say and I can't ever remember them when I sit down to my computer. Rosie and her tour rolled into Chandler this morning for a few hours, so I drove out to see them. They all seem like really nice boys. We hijacked Chris' grandma's golf cart and tore around her gated community hunting for swimming pools and geriatrics. I'm really pissed they didn't play a show in Phoenix, and I'm really pissed that no one would cover my shift so I could go to Cornerstone with them tonight. Rosie even offered to pay my bus fair home. Selfishness is pretty cool I guess.
I officially withdrew from class yesterday, and found out that I can get an 80% tuition refund with a medical/compassionate withdrawal. However, the refund process can take up to two years after the semester that I want to refund. This shit makes my head hurt. I just want to start my new life right.
I dunno. Whatever. I want to be en route to California in a big maroon van right now.
I have like 9,345 things to say and I can't ever remember them when I sit down to my computer. Rosie and her tour rolled into Chandler this morning for a few hours, so I drove out to see them. They all seem like really nice boys. We hijacked Chris' grandma's golf cart and tore around her gated community hunting for swimming pools and geriatrics. I'm really pissed they didn't play a show in Phoenix, and I'm really pissed that no one would cover my shift so I could go to Cornerstone with them tonight. Rosie even offered to pay my bus fair home. Selfishness is pretty cool I guess.
I officially withdrew from class yesterday, and found out that I can get an 80% tuition refund with a medical/compassionate withdrawal. However, the refund process can take up to two years after the semester that I want to refund. This shit makes my head hurt. I just want to start my new life right.
I dunno. Whatever. I want to be en route to California in a big maroon van right now.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
my life is sort of a mess. what's new.
I'm flying home tomorrow, for three days. I told my mom on the phone (while switching my car insurance to Geico... so I can get residency out here...) that I'm uncomfortable going to school right now. That sitting on campus, alone, in between my classes is making me depressed. I can feel myself skipping classes again because I just don't give a shit, and I don't want to waste money and fail out. I'd rather only spend $9,000 on one semester instead of $18,000 on half a year.. and by next fall I'll have residency and feel a lot better about life.
My mother graciously reacted by telling me she thinks the only solution is to move home. I told her to piss off.
My dad attempted to listen a little better and suggested one of them fly out here to talk about it. Faced with the prospect of solely my mother again, I opted instead to fly home. They want me to go see a therapist, or a "neutral", to make sure we don't make a rash decision. Whatever, I get a free flight home. I know what I want, and if they want to hear it from someone else too, that's fine. I just need a chance to adjust and I'm not getting it and I'm panicking. Whatever makes it better, right?
The rest of life is pretty good. I think. Yeah. I need more friends. AJ and I were gonna get tattoos later today, but my impromptu flight home delayed it. When I get back we're making an appointment and he's getting a shoulder piece and I'm getting my mitten. Yezz.
On that note, a giant sorting grid for DVDs that we made when we were GOing.
My mother graciously reacted by telling me she thinks the only solution is to move home. I told her to piss off.
My dad attempted to listen a little better and suggested one of them fly out here to talk about it. Faced with the prospect of solely my mother again, I opted instead to fly home. They want me to go see a therapist, or a "neutral", to make sure we don't make a rash decision. Whatever, I get a free flight home. I know what I want, and if they want to hear it from someone else too, that's fine. I just need a chance to adjust and I'm not getting it and I'm panicking. Whatever makes it better, right?
The rest of life is pretty good. I think. Yeah. I need more friends. AJ and I were gonna get tattoos later today, but my impromptu flight home delayed it. When I get back we're making an appointment and he's getting a shoulder piece and I'm getting my mitten. Yezz.
On that note, a giant sorting grid for DVDs that we made when we were GOing.
Saturday, September 8, 2007
im in ur body, ragin' ur feverz!
One random college dude at BBY today smelled exactly like Matt. No one has before, stranger or friend, and it was the weirdest feeling ever.
I bought two pairs of shoes and a purse. Next paycheck it's two tattoos [feetz!] and a spending spree on thinkgeek. After that, David gets 50% at SGH the first week of October and I'm totally fucking buying Prada sunglasses. Fuck you! I've been sick for a week and the antibiotics my doctor sent out actually gave me a second infection. It's making me miserable and sending me on a mad quest to find things to do. Or buy.
I almost started crying at work today because my body felt so broken and things were just short-circuiting. I haven't been to school in a week because I'm afraid I'm going to overheat and pass out... my body is just so vulnerable, no matter how much water I drink or how much I eat. I'm panicking--I don't want to make the same old attendance mistakes so early. I think it's because it feels so much like summer still, and I haven't been to school in so long; my brain is having serious trouble adjusting, in terms of how brightly the "responsibility" light flashes in my head when my alarm goes off in the mornings.
I think I can actually go out for residency in Arizona, which would drop my tuition from $18,000 to $6,000. Not only would I not need student loans, I wouldn't have to dip into the savings that I have with my parents. I could buy a DSLR and a new laptop and myyyyy handgun. I have to check around with howthefuck car insurance works here and how much it'd be.. so my mom sent me my driving record.
Please explain my 3 tickets for a mere 5 over, every time... O WAIT, THX LAWYR!
I bought two pairs of shoes and a purse. Next paycheck it's two tattoos [feetz!] and a spending spree on thinkgeek. After that, David gets 50% at SGH the first week of October and I'm totally fucking buying Prada sunglasses. Fuck you! I've been sick for a week and the antibiotics my doctor sent out actually gave me a second infection. It's making me miserable and sending me on a mad quest to find things to do. Or buy.
I almost started crying at work today because my body felt so broken and things were just short-circuiting. I haven't been to school in a week because I'm afraid I'm going to overheat and pass out... my body is just so vulnerable, no matter how much water I drink or how much I eat. I'm panicking--I don't want to make the same old attendance mistakes so early. I think it's because it feels so much like summer still, and I haven't been to school in so long; my brain is having serious trouble adjusting, in terms of how brightly the "responsibility" light flashes in my head when my alarm goes off in the mornings.
I think I can actually go out for residency in Arizona, which would drop my tuition from $18,000 to $6,000. Not only would I not need student loans, I wouldn't have to dip into the savings that I have with my parents. I could buy a DSLR and a new laptop and myyyyy handgun. I have to check around with howthefuck car insurance works here and how much it'd be.. so my mom sent me my driving record.
Please explain my 3 tickets for a mere 5 over, every time... O WAIT, THX LAWYR!
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